Recently, I was struggling with what to do in a highly tense situation. There were many people involved and some of them were having conflict and I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make the conflict worse by making the “wrong” decision. I struggled and struggled in my mind asking myself, “Which course of action would be most helpful and benign to the conflict?” When I couldn’t come up with the right answer I asked one of the people involved what she thought I should do. She looked at me without hesitation and with no agenda and said, “ I think you should do what you want to do.” It was amazing. Such a simple solution!
So I went inside myself and ignored the conflict and the people involved and asked myself for what I wanted. Immediately the answer was completely clear and the struggle within me dissolved. Literally it took one minute from the time I asked the question.
Later that same day this same person was struggling with her own decision concerning the conflict. As we were talking it became clear she wasn’t sure how to communicate with the person she was having a conflict with. She was trying to come up with the right words and the right behavior in order not to hurt this person's feelings and yet still get what she needed. Here is what I said to her:
Tell him the truth. Straight up.
I believe that we need to tell our truth, and when we do people will react.
The people who react with judgment and anger are not our people.
So what amazes me about this whole experience is that we both took seemingly very complex and tense situations and made them simple and clear in a very short period of time by asking ourselves what our own truth was.
What do I want?
What is my truth?
We eliminated the confusion and found relief immediately. By eliminating conflict and confusion we eliminate many of the feelings that lead to fog eating. By remaining clear in our minds, we can remain clear in our eating.
Not sure what to do?
Ask yourself for the truth.