Many of you have heard me talk about this before-but too bad. I have had to coach this so much lately that I wanted to give us all a reminder.
What is it you think THEY aren't doing or should be doing?
Come on. Think about it.
Here are a few I have heard in the last three days:
He should respect me.
She should not copy me.
They should be nicer to me.
He should compliment me.
He should notice my body.
He should acknowledge I have lost weight.
He should take me to nice dinners.
She should listen to me.
She could care more.
She acts like I don't exist.
Honestly, what we expect from THEM!!!
They should be able to do it all the time for us. No matter we can't muster a kind word for ourselves ever and we can't remember the last time we gave ourselves a compliment! But they better damn well do it.
When I tell my client to be more kind to herself, she tells me it is too difficult. She tells me that it is hard to remember. She tells me that she forgets. SHE CAN'T DO IT FOR HERSELF AND YET IS PISSED THAT HER BOYFRIEND WON'T DO IT.
When I tell my client to pay attention to herself when she feels like her daughter doesn't return her phone calls, she tells me she doesn't know how. BUT SHE EXPECTS HER DAUGHTER TO KNOW HOW.
I want my husband to stop getting frustrated at me when I forget things. I want him to be more patient and understanding. AND YET I CAN'T CUT MYSELF ANY SLACK SOMETIMES.
So notice, my friends, the next time you want something from someone. My guess is you aren't giving it to yourself.
Marianne Williamson taught met that A Course in Miracles says: "The only thing missing in any situation is what you aren't giving."
You want more love. Love yourself. You want more attention. HELLO SELF. You want kindness. When is the last time you were truly kind and loving to you?
You want a new, red, patent leather Louis Vuitton handbag?
Don't hold your breath.
Call me. I'll come with.