Those of you who know me, know that I am a sucker for self-help books. I have been in a reading mode of late-reading every good book I can. Oprah recently recommended Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth, on her show. I picked up the book and haven't put it down. I have been quoting it out-loud to all my clients recently.
It is a book I have needed to read.
Recently, I have been indulging in some complaining. I have made a valiant effort to complain myself happy. It is an uncommon activity for me, because I know that when we complain we are acting as victims and we cannot create from a place of victimhood. But still, no one is perfect, and the complaining seemed to feel good.
Until I realized it didn't.
Until my best friend asked me what the hell was wrong with me. She reminded me that everything I was complaining about was something I had chosen and created. And then she told me to shut up. I love her- so much.
I stopped complaining. I felt better immediately. Then I took each complaint (each thought) and did my work on it. It was long and hard work. It wasn't fun. All the turn arounds came right back to me. But when I was done, I felt alive and whole again. There is nothing like the truth to bring freedom back into my soul.
I learned so much from Eckhart. He says it so brilliantly. I hope you will pick up a copy of his book, A New Earth. Here are some of his words:
"Ask yourself, 'Is there any negativity in me in this moment?'….The moment you become aware of a negative state within yourself, it does not mean you have failed. It means you have succeeded. Until that awareness happens, there is identification with inner states, and such identification is ego. With awareness comes disidentification from thoughts, emotions, and reactions. This is not to be confused with denial…..in the moment of recognition, disidentification happens automatically. Your sense of self, and who you are, then undergoes a shift…..you are now the Presence that witnesses those states."
What this means to me, as a Master Coach, is that I don't have to feel inadequate because I feel bad or complain. It means that I have an opportunity to go deeper. I have the opportunity to become the Witness. This gives me the awareness that I am not my complaints, but something deeper and more peaceful. By recognizing that which is not me, I become more me.
Being perfect and doing it all right does not take us deeper into who we really are. It is in our glaring mistakes and misdeeds that we find ourselves.
This must be why I know myself so well.