I am currently participating in an entrepreneurial coaching program at The Strategic Coach.  This is a very intense program that meets as a group once a quarter in L.A.  One of the things I promised myself when I signed up for the program is that I would participate full out and complete all the assignments.  That was before, of course, I knew that this was an assignment:

Please send this sample letter out to some  of your respected colleagues, friends, and clients:


I have a favor to ask….

I am a participant in an entrepreneurial coaching program-Dan Sullivan's Strategic Coach.  One of the most important concepts in this program is unique ability.  This concept is based on the idea that everyone possesses a combination of talents, interests, and capabilities that are unique to that individual.

Because I trust and respect your opinion, I would really appreciate it if you could consider the following question and send me back an answer in three to five short bullet points:  "What do you see as my Unique Ability?"  It would include anything you might think I am good at, how I do things, what you count me in for, and anything else you think is a talent I have.

I am going to use this material in my next meeting with my coach and  group.  I would really appreciate it if you could send this back to me as soon as you can so I have time to prepare this required homework for my workshop.

Thank you so much!


I can't not even begin to tell you how difficult it was for me to send this email to my friends, clients, co-workers and family.  I cringed at the thought of them reading and feeling obligated to reply.  But I honored my promise to myself and sent it out last night.

This morning I had 10 emails back.  I couldn't hardly open them-let alone read them.  Seriously, this brought me so much anxiety I had to call Meadow-who didn't pick up by the way.  So I am bringing it here- to you- my clients because I know you will understand. I know you have been here and will "get it."

So, what is my problem?

My thoughts, of course.

You know the thought that brings me the most anxiety?

They think too highly of me.

The emails I received were filled with the most wonderful, thoughtful descriptions of an amazing person and business woman.  One of the emails had me in tears.

This thought goes back to one of my old, deep belief systems: If I am too big or too much or too successful, no one will like me.

So I worked my own model.  I ran this thought through it and then found a new one that felt waaaay better:

I am surrounded by the most generous, wonderful, thoughtful, and intelligent people because that's how I roll.

It took me a while to find this one because the first ones I came up with deflected everything I was feeling onto them and didn't require me to own what they were saying about me.  This one does. It feels good to receive what they are saying and to know that the reason they are saying it is because they are such amazing people.

I love the concept that we have a unique combination of abilities that make us who we are.  It is not about being better or worse than anyone else, it is about how we use our unique combination in the world.

I will let you know what I discover about mine after my next coaching group session…

(If you are really brave, you can send this letter out to your people and see what I mean.)