Risking Relationships as a Coach

As your coach, I am not your friend.

People do not pay me to be their friends, they pay me to tell them the truth.

We don't always tell our friends the real, whole truth we see about their lives.   Often, we are afraid (rightly so) it might risk the relationship.  And, quite frankly, how they live their lives is not really our business.

As a coach and as a trainer of coaches, I do get paid to tell the truth.  I get paid to see it from a clean perspective, and then tell it how I see it.

This does risk the relationship.

I have had clients leave (and later come back) because I have told them the truth the way I see it.

Sometimes the truth is hard to hear, even when it is said with kindness and love.

Sometimes it is easier to be angry with me than to consider the perspective I have.

When a student sends me her work and tells me it is her best (and I know it isn't), I usually tell them I know it isn't.

When they tell me they can't get clients because of the economy, I tell them straight up they are lying to themselves, and then I ask them what they have done to build their business in the past week.

When they tell me that there is no way to lose weight permanently, and there is ample evidence to the contrary, I am not shy to point that out.

Friends will come into your story with you and comfort you.  And sometimes you need just that.

But, as your coach, I will not come into your story. I will stay on the outside and tell you what I see.

And, even if you don't like what you hear, I love you enough to say it.

I care enough about you to risk the relationship, to tell you the truth.

That is the kind of coaching that saved my life and that is the kind of coach I want to be.