What is Kindness?

When I work with clients, I always spend  a lot of time on kindness.

Especially self-kindness.

Amazingly, though, most of us don't really know what kindness is.

We mistake kindness for pleasing, for placating.

Kindness is not mamby-pamby and it's not for the weak.

Some people are indifferent and call it kindness.  They say that because they are "doing no harm" they are being kind.

Some people are mean and call it kindness.  They tell white lies, hide the truth, allow their friends to walk all over them and call it kindness.

They will say,"Better safe than sorry." When it comes to their relationships.  They hold back. They stay in denial. They "go along" with other people's opinions because they want to be a good friend.

This is not kind.

I would rather be sorry than safe any day.

Taking a risk. Having it go wrong. And apologizing is one of the kindest things you can do.

It puts you in the game for the sake of the other person.  It is the ultimate in kindness-being willing to take one for the relationship in order to keep it real and honest and intimate.

Hiding behind your fears is not kind.

So stop calling it that.

The ultimate in kindness is coming out of hiding, telling someone that you know their truth and letting them know you will never hold it against them. 

It works for your family, your clients, your co-workers and your friends.

And, even more importantly, yourself.

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