Wasted Envy

I wanted to share an amazing blog written by one of my students…Bev Aron.

Jealous Monster

I arrived at my friend’s house shortly after dinner yesterday.
Three young children and my 6 year old angel to feed.
Every plate on the table was empty.
I looked around enviously –
The entire family eat the same meal?
And they all finish what’s on their plates?

She laughed at me – that ‘same meal’ was a conglomeration of 15 different customizations to please everyone’s palates
And the ‘wiped clean’ plates were courtesy of their father, who efficiently consumes everyone’s leftovers.

A wasted envy, I said.
She loved that concept and insisted it become a blog.

Which got me to thinking…
How much energy do we waste on wasted envy?

Thin women?
I spent years envying them.
One in particular – same age as me, 4 kids like me, great body (unlike me).
She recently, and shamefully, asked about my weight loss coaching.
Turns out her weekly beauty routine is:
Binge Friday to Sunday
Starve Monday to Thursday
Intense fear and 2 hour punishments at the gym Monday to Sunday.
How much energy did I waste on that wasted envy?

Rich people?
My friend lives in an exclusive area of Toronto,
Stately multimillion dollar homes.
She has a frenemy who pissed her off
and access to mortgage information.
She discovered that this friend lives in a $3.48 million dollar home
Which is mortgaged for $3.48 million.
How many people are wasting their envy on that family?

So tell me,
Who are you wasting your envy on?
And how are you behaving when you’re stuck in envy?
For me, I’m more likely to overeat in that moment
to escape that poisonous envy.

Then I got to thinking…
What if what I believed about these people was true?
Still a wasted envy
What if she could eat whatever she wanted and maintain her gorgeous body?
Still a wasted envy
What if they paid cash for their house, and had tons more in the bank?
Still a wasted envy

Any envy is wasted.
It means I’m living in their business.
Neglecting mine.
Wasting my possibility for joy in that moment.

Good thing I know how to order up my feelings
I know they’re always caused by my thoughts
and I know how to direct my thinking
whenever I want
and you can too.

(thanks to my spectacular coach buddy Carol, who introduced me to the concept of a ‘wasted mad’ which led me to this idea)

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