Scared

Sometimes I do things that scare me.

I have always been this way.

I used to ride and jump horses cross-country, I have been sky-diving, I’ve spent three weeks at Outward Bound, I have done dangerous drugs,  and I have started businesses.

Being willing to be scared has helped me create a life that defies “normal” and offers me growth on a regular basis.

My latest adventure (www.familygonefree) , includes selling everything I own and traveling across the country for a year.

I know this is the right decision and I am excited about it-but I am also scared.

My mom said to me the other day, “Brooke, you know you.  You have to try this.”

She’s right.

So, knowing that “scared” is just an emotion, I decided to do my thought work to find the cause of my fear.  As I sat down to write, the thought that kept coming up over and over was this:

I won’t know what to do.

Oh.

That makes total sense.  Choosing a life and a path similar to others or to the norm feels safer to me because I can look around and see what to do.

Buy house. Have babies. Join mom’s club. Go to Bunko. Check school test scores. Volunteer in the classroom. Help kids apply for college.  Everyone’s doing it.

This next year, I won’t be able to look around me to know what to do.  I don’t know anyone who is doing crazy like us.

It will require me to go inside to find answers. To connect with my family to find our own answers.  Harder. Better.

Come to think of it, a lot of the risks I have taken require this.  When I was on an island for three days by myself in Outward Bound, all my answers came from within.  When I started my first business at 18- years-old, my friends all thought I was nuts, so I had to guide myself.

And now, if  you look at the photo of my son Christian, you can see he puts himself in positions where only he can decide what to do.  He is a risk taker and I love that for him. I know that he will be afraid (like so many of us) to follow his dreams-but he will follow them nonetheless.

We can do scared.  Even if we aren’t sure.

The truth is, ” I don’t know what to do,” is a lie.  I always know what to do. The answers are there.

So do you.

Scare yourself and see what I mean.

 

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