Thoughts

My life’s work is about our thoughts. I teach my clients and my students how to become aware, understand, and change their thoughts. I believe it is the most important work we can do. It’s the deepest spiritual practice. In order to become aware of our thoughts we have to learn how to watch, be […]

It’s Not Always about Changing

The first step in all coaching is awareness. So many of us are living our lives unconsciously. We don’t understand why we do what we do or why we get the results we consistently get. So we start, by just paying attention. We look at the circumstances in our lives. We see our thoughts about […]

Self Discovery

I believe that self discovery is the most important item on our to do list. As we find out more about ourselves, we learn how humans operate. We develop compassion and understanding, not just for ourselves but for all living things. Self discovery is about looking at the parts of ourselves we don’t want to […]

I Want to Decide What They Think

We so want to control what “they” will think. If we could control what everyone thought of us, we could finally relax. We worry about what they think. We obsess about what we did to make them think a certain something. We try to control what they think by what we do and say. But […]

Sometimes…just be proud of yourself

I was telling a client the other day that I think the best feeling in the world is pride. I love feeling proud of myself. It feels flippin good. Especially that well-earned, you-know-you-have-done-a-good- job, kinda pride. I think we are embarrassed to feel it sometimes because it can be interpreted as arrogant or indulgent, but […]

Are You an Expert at Suffering?

I spend a lot of my day convincing my clients they are wrong. They don’t concede easily. They fight for their limitations, their problems, their suffering. They are so good at “doing” their problems, they don’t want to give them up. They have practiced them for years. They have owned them like family heirlooms. They […]

Keeping Decisions

It’s one thing to make a decision. In fact, making a decision is somewhat easy. “I’m going to start working out.” “I am going to stop drinking alcohol.” Decisions like these are made all the time.  (Usually when buying bikini’s or nursing hangovers.) But, often, as soon as there’s cake or an open bottle of […]

Three Things to do with a Negative Feeling

Step 1: Avoid it Step 2: Feel it Step 3: Use it We avoid our feelings by consulpting.  (Consuming something compulsively.)  This always just adds a layer of ick to the negative feeling we already have.  We feel lonely.  We avoid it with three bowls of Lucky Charms. We feel full instead. We feel our […]

The Ego Doesn’t like Simplicity

"Simplicity is the ultimate in sophistication." -Leonardo DaVinci I have been doing a lot of self coaching with myself on the idea of simplicity.  I really want my life to be and stay simple.  I want my money to be simplified in terms of the number of accounts I have. I want my stuff to […]

Controlling vs. Managing our Thoughts

I am in the business of thought management.  I spend a good portion of most days managing my own thoughts and teaching my clients how to do the same. Every once in a while I will get an email from a reader or student who is trying to use what I teach by controlling their […]